Shall We Meet?

Continuing along the lines of my previous post (and still firmly clutching my pink-and-purple floatation device for support), let's move into the initial consultation itself, with hopes of finding the perfect floral designer for you. You've done your homework in terms of pictures of what you like (and perhaps don't), you've picked the brain of everyone you know for referrals to their favorite wedding florists, and you have hopefully perused the websites of the designers you want to meet with.

1. Control Yourself! Meet with no more than three prospective floral designers -- that's my strongest recommendation on this point. Any more, and it all begins to become a blur, and quite frankly, you're wasting your time -- and theirs. Further, if you already know who you want to work with -- perhaps your current florist, or someone who did your best pal's wedding -- then by all means, just move forward with them and forget the shopping around part. Believe me: By the time you are married, you will have forever stricken the word, "consultation," from your vocabulary...
2. Do Your Yoga. In other words, show some flexibility. Keep in mind that most good event florists are working on the weekends during the wedding season. So if you're demanding a Saturday appointment for a consultation, you may be disappointed. And think of it this way: Do you really want to meet with someone for the first time who is completely exhausted from working one or more weddings? Be considerate of their schedule -- especially in the beginning -- and you'll probably find they'll do the same for you. I never schedule a consultation on the day I am doing a wedding -- period. And I do this as a courtesy to my bride who's getting married that day -- they are my sole priority. Trust me, you'll appreciate this on your own big day!
3. Check Your Watch. Please, please, please be on time for your scheduled consultations. Your wedding vendors all want to make you feel as if you're the only one getting married in the world, but the truth is: You're not. (I know, I know, that hurts, and please know I'm sorry...) We have to accommodate everyone, and if you're late for your appointment, you throw everyone's schedule off. And if you got delayed trying on dresses and find yourself running late, please call right away, and further, be flexible enough to understand that your consultation may need to be rescheduled. Keep in mind that although you are interviewing prospective vendors, they are also doing the same of you. After all, it's their business, their livelihood -- and none of us can afford to have that jeopardized by a client who is always blowing up our schedules.
4. It's Not a Party. Ideally, limit the number of people you bring with you to one or two, if possible. I always love it when the groom joins us, and often one or both mothers want to be there as well. But once you get past that, it becomes too distracting. Your friend who is the total expert in flowers? I say this respectfully: Unless she's actually working in the business, then she's not an "expert" -- and if she is such an expert, then why isn't she doing your flowers? (No intent to be mean here, but...) If you're worried that you don't know enough about flowers, just stop right there: A good designer will help educate and guide you throughout the process. There is no need for you to be a horticulturalist -- or to bring one! And one last point here: Please leave your children at home. PLEASE...
   
   I once met with a very lovely bride who brought her groom, her mother, his mother, her step-mother, two aunts, her friend who knew "everything about flowers," and everyone's kids (five total). The children were bored within 30 seconds and ran around the shop screaming, punching each other, and pulling flowers out of vases. The groom's mother got into a heated argument with one of her sisters, which culminated in the sister stomping out and sitting in the car for the rest of the meeting. (But on the plus side, one less person...) The tension between the bride's mother and the bride's step-mother -- well, let's just say if looks could indeed kill, I would have been talking to two dried-out, decaying corpses. And the groom? That poor soul fell asleep and started snoring -- loudly -- only to be abruptly brought back to life by a resounding slap on the head from his mother -- at which point he, unfortunately, accidentally farted -- again, loudly. And fragrantly, I might add. Not surprisingly, this consultation lasted almost four hours.
   
   Amazingly, I did book this bride's event, mostly because I really, really liked her, perhaps mixed in with a little pity, and the couple ended up having a wonderful (and flatulence-free) wedding...
5. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. This is just about common sense. First of all, remember that this is an initial consultation, and it's complimentary -- meaning your vendor is doing this for free right now. The whole point of the consultation is to meet each other to see if there's a fit, and to give the designer some ideas and direction about what you're looking for. For me, a great consultation is fun and collaborative and inspiring. So this is where that "be prepared" part comes in handy -- the stuff I talked about in the last post.
   
   Stay on point in your discussions and thoughts to help stay within the time frame allotted. I find it helpful to start a consultation with a brief explanation of how and what we're going to cover in the meeting. In essence, I "interview" a prospective client with a list of questions and points to cover. In spite of what my boyfriend might tell you, I'm not a control freak. Truly, my goal is to make sure I get everything I need from you to prepare a proper and thorough proposal. Before we even start talking about flowers, we build a master list together of who you'll need flowers for, location information, dates, times, and so on. Only once that's done do we then start in on the flowers, and then again, there's logic to it. I start with the bridal bouquet, because it's usually the most important piece and often sets the "tone" for the wedding, and then work through the same list.
   
   Listen to the questions, and be concise yet thorough in your responses. Use your pictures and swatches, and be sure to communicate any theme or style you want to reflect in your wedding. Be mindful of the time, and please be courteous and open to input and suggestions. Your vendors play a a critical part of your day, and I think a connection between you and a vendor is very, very important. You're in this together for the long haul, so being friendly, positive, and responsive can really make all the difference!
6. As With Your Dress, Fit Is EVERYTHING. I cannot stress this enough. Your final choice will ideally be based on a combination of things: Price, style, and availability are all very important factors. But in the end, trust your instincts and book the person you feel most comfortable with.
   
   As a floral designer, this is how I make my living. The work I do is important to me creatively, of course, but if I do my best, it's also how I can generate new business -- again, referrals are everything to us. So the relationship I have with my client is a definite key to everyone's satisfaction. Most important to me is that you love what I do for you -- there are no "do overs" when it comes to your wedding, so I have to hit my mark and meet your expectations -- and hopefully exceed them. In the most simplistic of terms, I want you to be very, very happy! This is why I personally feel that a good connection between us is so necessary.
   
   The absolute worst consultation I ever experienced was (surprisingly!) not the one I mentioned above. A few years ago, I met with a bride who was having a large wedding for 450 guests -- in three weeks!! She was very nice, but seeming rather disorganized and with a variety of excuses, had blown off three previous consultations she had scheduled with me in the previous months. Her mother, who arrived 30 minutes late for our meeting, proceeded to harangue and verbally abuse her daughter throughout the consultation. Further, and in great detail, she expressed her intense dislike for her ex-husband and the parents of her daughter's groom. And while thumbing through my various portfolios, she emphasized each flip of a page with a very clipped, very intentional phrase: "I see nothing. I see nothing. I see nothing." As if I wasn't even in the room, it was rude and very uncomfortable. The bride cried throughout the meeting, clearly embarrassed, and I could not end the consultation fast enough. The bride did call me later that evening with a request to book me, but I politely declined. Although I genuinely felt sorry for her, nothing good could come from something that started like that.
   
   Fortunately, this was an extreme exception. I have been blessed with many, many wonderful clients over the years. Fantastic, intelligent, charming women -- many of whom have continued to remain in contact with me post-wedding over the years. Sometimes I even get pictures when their babies are born! What more could you ask for from your job?? And once in a while, one of them will end up working for me, just because they loved the process so much. Of course, it isn't necessary to go to this extreme when looking for the right floral designer for you, BUT... As with everything else in life, definitely having a great connection will make the process much more beautiful -- for everyone! Cheers!

In the Beginning...

So you're getting married (congrats!) and you're about to embark on a rather intense -- and expensive -- journey into that mysterious place known affectionately as Wedding Vendor Land. One of the most expensive one-time purchases you will ever make, often requiring planning for a year or more, and subjecting yourself to intense scrutiny, often unbelievable stress, and massive debt... What's not to enjoy??

All kidding aside, a wedding is a wonderful, life-altering celebration honoring the uniting of your two lovely little hearts, but getting there with your sanity intact is often the tricky part! While I can't help you with the sanity itself (Zanax anyone?), hopefully this little space might help you in navigating the sometimes treacherous waters of planning your wedding flowers. Taking a deep breath and bravely clutching my pink-and-purple floatation device, I wade in...

Pre-Consultation Preparation: We'll start with some tips for preparing for your initial consultations with potential floral designers...

1. Surf's Up. Running an Internet search for "wedding flowers" or "wedding florists" in your ceremony locale should give you a good list of floral design websites to start with. Most good wedding florists have a website up these days which includes a portfolio or sampling of their work. This can be very helpful in determining whether you even want to meet with a particular designer in terms of getting an initial read on their style, aesthetic, and abilities. There's no point in wasting both parties' time if the designer doesn't do the type of work you're looking for. For instance, although I secretly covet the fresh scent of armfuls of baby-pink Carnations, I do not do old-school Carnations-and-Baby's Breath work. If a prospective bride asks for that type of work, I will refer her to someone else -- it just isn't the style of work I am inspired by on a creative level.
2. Gossip, Gossip, Gossip. Talk to your friends, family members, co-workers, and anyone else who looks like they have a modicum of style to see if they know of any floral designers they like. Admire a floral display at a hotel or in a high-end store? Ask who provided it. Ditto for bridal gown shops, photographers, bakeries, and just about any vendor you are meeting with. Vendors can be a great resource for you in terms of referrals, and generally will only refer you to those who have proven to be reliable at their past events. In this business, nobody wants a bad referral to come back on them! And of course, if you are wild about the flowers you saw at a wedding, definitely get the designer's name from the bride -- imitation is the highest form of flattery, right?
3. Be Picture Perfect. While you're perusing the vast array of wedding magazines on the market, be sure to flag or tear out pictures of florals that you like. And here again, the Web is a great resource for this purpose, even if it isn't the work of the particular designer you're considering meeting with. Don't hesitate on this point: We all look at each other's work and learn from it; are inspired by it and seek to improve upon it.
4. Know What Turns You On. "Florally" speaking, that is. Jot down what appeals to you when looking at pictures, in the garden, or at your local market. Is it the color, the shape? The texture, the density? Do you favor deep, rich tones, or are you more of a bold and beautiful girl? Do you dream of trailing vines and candy-coated confections with a sparkling touch of crystal bling here and there? Often we are attracted to similar shapes, textures, and hues, and this kind of information can help a designer narrow their focus and develop a look that reflects you best.
5. Likewise, Your Turn-Offs. Sounds strange perhaps, but sometimes what you don't like is more revealing than what you do. Again, notes and pictures can be enormously helpful to your floral designer. When meeting with a prospective client during the initial consultation, I always build a list of their dislikes and keep it in their file for future reference.
6. Color Your World. If you have decided on a color theme for your big day, examples of same will be most helpful during your initial consultations with florists. Pictures, ribbons, fabric or paint swatches are all helpful in this regard. Colors often influence what types of flowers may be in season and available at market at the time of your wedding, so be sure to include this information. Of course, sometimes the determination of color is a work in progress and may not be precisely defined until later in the planning process -- that's okay, too. In this instance, just knowing what colors you do and don't like can be enough to start with.
7. Count Your Pennies. In most instances, a bride has no way of knowing how much the different flower types, bouquets, and arrangements cost on the general market. These numbers will be more precisely developed for you in the proposals you receive from any designers you meet with, and will be dependent on a number of factors impacting cost (more on this subject in a future posting!). Further, not everyone knows exactly how much they want to spend on their flowers, and that's just fine. However, if you do have an absolute "cap" number for your flowers in your budget, you should provide this number during your initial consultation whenever possible. It's so helpful to know what a prospective client is working with in terms of available funds -- especially true if you have "champagne" wishes on a "beer" budget! A designer who is fully informed upfront will be able to find ways to creatively give you the look you want, in most instances.

Next time: Consultations and selecting the right florist for you... Ciao!